Valentine’s Day 2011

Perhaps a retrospective blog post. The last few years have been rather unusual. My wife and I have been together for many years. We went through a lot of pretty lean times. When we first started out, we lived in a tent in eastern New Mexico. We had little to no money. So we ate macaroni and cheese meals. We had the meals with hamburger when we could afford it. We were waiting for a check to come for school and I was starting graduate school soon in anthropology. I wanted to be a archeologist so bad. She was going to get a Nursing Degree.

Years flowed by. Somewhere around 1993 perhaps I decided to stop doing that line of work for a few reasons. For some obscure reason, I moved in 1993 to technology and got a job with this company that gave me a break. Val and I were still together. We had weathered me commuting from Sacramento to Oakland. Me being away up to 6 months at a time working on rather large pipeline projects. Then that sassy miss technology came along all dressed in buttons and bows. I wanted in. Seemed like more money, stability, less traveling. Well two of three were not bad.

Flash to my years at Celestix Networks. I started out there as the SE Manager; but soon moved on to working as a Product Manager for Linux and open source products, evangelizing how we could incorporate key open source products and technologies, building roadmap documentation. Then I was offered the job of managing the global software engineering group. It was not a group then but a bunch of dispersed guys and gal. That meant travel since we were scattered from Singapore to the UK to India. Val and I had managed through all these tough times before. But then I was asked to go to India more often and then for longer. Things were changing at home and I did not even know because I was gone. I went for 3 months to India and came back and the world had shifted under my feet. This person I had known for over 20 years had found someone else. I was more than dismayed. Not angry. Just bewildered. I wanted to go back to Chennai. Chennai was home. It was normal. India was my place and this was not. So after 30 days I left again for another 3 months in India. All was good. I sat at the airport red carpet lounge ordering myself to come up with a plan. Know what?

There is no plan. Never has been; never will be.

Today would be our wedding anniversary. A day of flowers and presents. Rememberances and love. Instead its nothing. A nothing day in a nothing week. But you know what’s good. I finally got up the nerve to write this down. This blog has been an instrument of good and bad in my life. I’ve had it for almost 6 years now. It means something to me. Its a place to hang my hat. I can write here without fear. This is mine. The server sits under my desk and I own its content.

So Happy Valentine’s Day 2011. Be happy in what you have and perhaps in what you don’t. I’m learning now to have that share of happiness too. Here’s to you Edster. You were there for me at the beginning of the whole thing. You had your own challenges in your life and we’ve kinda lived this thing together. Thanks to Michelle for being a friend that took calls, listened, and gave sage advice. When things were difficult my last trip to India, Michelle was there for me. The advice and friendship now and past at Celestix is appreciated immensely¬†Thanks to Todd, Ravi and Neil for being there for me. Thanks to Gaylen and Art. Both of you have been steadfast allies and friends. I appreciate you all immensely. Thanks to every last person I ever met or worked with in Chennai. You all are decent, honest, and forthright people. I enjoyed that association more than any other. Thanks to the guys in Singapore for being team members, being there for me. Drinking and eating and perhaps just listening at times. I think the world of you guys too.

I’m done. I’ve had my say.

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