The washing machine is poking along this morning and I’m watching KRON-4 morning news. Its quiet here now because both kids and the wife seem to be gone. I’ve always thought that a person needs those moments of time when he is alone but not lonely. The difference is like a canyon really. Often enforced solitude drives people to illness, obsession, and disaffection. But as the coin turns, people need those moments of solitude chosen. We all walk twin paths or so and I’ve seen this a lot of late. There is the person we want to be and the person we really are. I think the Japanese say that we are actually 3 people. No wonder we are split like Sybil. Our very lives are split into the people we think we are, the people others see, and the people we really are. Its a terrible crisis of conscience. I’ve had the fortune (and misfortune) to work around people that cannot seem to ever display the truth except when it somehow benefits them. Their “truth” is a hidden value that only comes out to show at various moments. After some years of working around this, I think I am about ready to declare enough!
Now I have this opportunity to declare myself and I can truly “be there”. Being there means I am not a spectator any longer and I can find the thing of value that somehow I have missed until now. We all need to feel that there is a challenge out there that we can surmount.
Ahh!! The washing machine is stopping its characteristic spin and roll. Its time to take on another task. Its time to once again drop the facade and be there. Being there has its value and I think after months of working 14 to 16 hours per day I have this freedom now to look around and see where I am now. I also see the terrible truth of how I spent my last years.
